Thank you for your prayers for us during our travels this fall. At the MTW Leadership meeting in September I gave a seminar on Organizational Learning: how MTW should be learning as an organization from its cross-cultural experiences. Then in October we attended the MTW Latin America Area Retreat, where I presented a seminar on contextualizing our gospel ministry. Most recently we visited some churches in the Northeast. Thanks to your prayers the Lord prospered and protected us in all of these activities and travels. I have updated and improved our website designed to provide you with the information you need to be involved in our ministry. You can find the website at the following address: Once there you will have to register and then login. There is a lot of information there, and I plan on adding more. One thing you can do is look up our past prayer letters. Just click on the "mtwla.org" menu. You can also download photos of the family and articles I have written. Click on the "Downloads" menu. There you will also find an article I just wrote called "The Christian Art of Talking to Yourself." I include it below also. Please pray for me as I finish preparing for my next trip to Mexico to do research for my dissertation. It seems that my research findings thus far have been useful to MTW--I've been presenting some in bits and pieces--and I ask you to pray that the Lord will continue to bless me in these efforts. Thanks again for your support of us and our ministry. Gary T. Waldecker The Christian Art of Talking to Yourself When we see people talking to themselves, we usually think there is something wrong with them; and many times this is the case. But I want to suggest that there is a Christian art of talking to yourself that has been largely lost in our busy, outward looking culture. Talking to God, Others and Self The Psalms are directed primarily to three different audiences: to God, to others, and to the self. Most of the Psalms are prayers, and therefore directed toward God. It is in the context of this God-centered nature of the Psalms that addressing others and oneself makes sense. In other words, the Psalms that are addressed to others call them to believe in God, or to desist from evil. Similarly, when the Psalmists talk to themselves, they are not engaged in the power of positive thinking nor are they focusing primarily on themselves. Rather, their speech is centered on who God is, what he has done, and what he has said--even in the midst of circumstances that might seem to contradict what they know to be true. On the other hand, even the Psalms that are directed to God and to others reveal the deep inner spiritual struggle of the individual believer living in a fallen world. So when the Psalmists speak to God they often talk about this personal struggle. Most of the Psalms that are directed to others can also be seen as the Psalmist speaking to himself. As he calls others to faith, he also implicitly calls himself to faith. The Inner Struggle There are many Psalms that give us a front row seat to the inner conflict of believers trying to sort out their thoughts, feelings and attitudes as they face challenges to their faith. In many cases they talk to God about this inner contradiction. When they ask the Lord "how long?" "when?" and "why?" we get a glimpse of the tension they experience between what they know to be true about God on the one hand and the circumstances that surround them on the other (2:1, 4:2, 6:3, 10:1, 13:1-2, 62:3, 74:1, 10, 77:7, 79:5, 85:5-6, 88:14, 89:46, 94:3). In their talking to God, however, they also talk to themselves--if only in their thoughts. They "wrestle" with thoughts (Psalm 13:2) that "trouble" them (55:2), sometimes with "groaning" and "weeping" (6:6) and "sighing" (38:9). They say--apparently to themselves, "Oh that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest--I would flee far away and stay in the desert" (55:6-8). On the other hand, they also affirm their faith: "I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God" (42:5b, 11b, 43:5b). When Believers Talk to Themselves There are only a few portions of the Psalms that show believers explicitly talking to themselves. In these verses they ask themselves questions and exhort themselves. They repeat things to themselves they know to be true about God in an attempt to convince themselves to act in faith in the midst of challenges to give up. They ask themselves, "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? (42:5,11, 43:5). We see them urging themselves to believe: "Put your hope in God" (42:5, 11, 43:5). "Why should I fear when evil days come?" (49:5). "The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? (27:1) "Awake, my soul....I will praise you" (57:8). "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him" (62:5). "Then I thought, 'To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High.'" (77:10). "Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits...." (103:1-5, 22, 104:35, 146:1). "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you" (116:7). Proclaiming the Gospel to Yourself This tension and apparent contradiction experienced by the Psalmists between God's promises, mighty acts of salvation and presence in the temple on the one hand, and their persecution, defeat in battle, loss of power, and eventual captivity on the other, is resolved in Christ. He fulfilled God's promises by suffering the judgment God's people deserve. The good news is that now God's people are fully forgiven and we have been brought into his presence through the Spirit of God who lives in and among us. We have a hope of glory, and that hope is that Christ is in us by his Spirit (Col. 1:27). We rejoice in that hope of glory (Romans 5:1). Although someday every tear will be wiped away and there will be no more suffering, the glory that is ours does not consist so much of being trouble free, having things go our way, or having a happy life. Rather, in consists in being like Christ. So we should even rejoice in troubles because they can be used to make us more like Christ (Romans 5:1-6). We are like Christ when we love God and others even though from the perspective of our culture it would seem ridiculous or even disastrous to do so. We thereby show that the glory we hope for is Christ--being like him--and not the things, feelings, abilities, gifts, income, friends, reputation or influence he can give us. So the Christian art of talking to yourself means proclaiming the gospel to yourself in every situation. It is meditation on the implications of the gospel for your life--and particularly for the tensions from the daily challenges to your faith. Here is how it often works out in my case, which in some ways may reflect my particular personality type: 1. I experience something bothering me. Maybe I'm not even sure what it is, but it's producing anxiety, or anger, or envy or grouchiness--something that makes me discontent. 2. I'm often so busy that there is a temptation to ignore it, or deal with it superficially. I need to stop what I'm doing if at all possible and go somewhere I can be alone to think. 3. Asking the Lord for a godly attitude as I face the situation is essential for me. Sometimes I'm not eager to pray, but if I can at least say, "Help me because I don't really want to deal with this," it's like opening the door a crack and that seems to help. 4. Then I ask myself, "What is it that is bothering you? What happened that triggered this bad mood? Why are you downcast, O my soul?" Let's say, for example, that someone said something that showed his or her lack of appreciation for me. 5. Once I am able to identify the event or circumstance that triggered my bad attitude, I ask myself, "What is it that has become more important to you than Christ in this situation?" In this case, maybe I'm too concerned about what people think of me. 6. Then I ask myself, "What would be the worst that could happen if these people didn't think well of me? Would Jesus still love me? Does he still work all things together for my good? Does he still have a significant place for me in his kingdom? Is Jesus--his death, resurrection and outpouring of the Spirt--enough, or do I think I need something else--like appreciation from others--in order to love and serve in his kingdom?" 7. Then I urge myself to repent of having made something more important than Christ, to believe what I know is true and act on the basis of it. "Hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." The following diagram illustrates the tension I am describing:  We have many legitimate longings. When any one of them is taken away for whatever reason, our reaction shows the extent to which it had become more important than Christ. It is not wrong to struggle with such a situation. Even Jesus struggled in the Garden as he contemplated the horror that was before him. However, when anxiety, fear, defensiveness, anger, envy or self-pity control us --these kinds of reactions reveal the idolatry that is involved in making anything for all practical purposes more important than Christ--in reacting as if Christ is not enough, or as if Christ is there to help us obtain what we really want. These reactions require repentance for having made something--maybe something legitimate in itself--practically more important than Christ. They require renewed faith in him. Conclusion Do you find yourself talking to yourself as the Psalmists did? Do you regularly preach the gospel to yourself? I find there are societal pressures that encourage us not to do so. There is pressure, for example, to maintain a certain standard of living and even to increase it. There is pressure to become someone "important." There is pressure to obtain the latest technology. One of the practical effects of these pressures is that we are "too busy" to take the time to be alone, reflect on what is bothering us, and talk to ourselves in a biblical way. There are some good things about the achievement orientation of our culture. But when that desire for achievement becomes practically more important than Christ, it keeps us too busy to preach the gospel to ourselves. |
